Domestic violence and financial abuse … It’s such a personal topic, I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t say that I’ve been a victim of domestic violence on a physical level nor has anyone tried to purposely ruin me financially. But I will say that I was emotionally impacted by these forms of abuse when I was child, and in many ways it has shaped who I am today. At a young age, I said I would never be with a man who did not value me, and I’ve stayed true to that statement. But that outlook has had its pros and cons. My threshold for what I see as an authentic, loving relationship has fallen into the category high expectations; therefore, my tolerance for many things pretty much falls short. Hey, I can admit that about myself. I really do not like my life complicated. It’s too short and precious to be in an unhappy situation. However, I refuse to let that situation define me or continue to victimize me by living in my day to day thoughts. It made me a stronger person and has no power over me. The domestic violence I did experience became a story of triumph. It was the reason why education was pushed on me along with the belief that I can be anything I wanted. I was raised to pursue what made me happy, and that was art. It was my outlet, especially when I witnessed situations that scared me. I saw that through education, knowledge and belief in oneself anything is possible. I also saw that it is not easy to just get out of those situations, and that it takes a tremendous amount of support. That is where we all come in. One of our current campaigns is with the Allstate Foundation’s initiative called Purple Purse. Through this program I learned that domestic violence affects 1 in 4 women in her lifetime, which is more than breast, ovarian and lung cancer combined, and that most people don’t associate financial abuse with domestic violence but it’s the #1 why the victim stays. I totally get how this could happen and I am fortunate to have had loving family members who were always supportive.

When I look back at those years, I don’t feel anger or shame. I feel proud that we all came so far from a place of darkness, and that we were able to harness that experience into creating a life with purpose. I eventually pursued art and worked with children from at-risk communities who had a passion for the arts and my mother (because it was obvious this post was about her) became a Psychologist. She too worked with at-risk families and children. It was quite a long road, but we made it.

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